Do you remember that time you called me a b!t@# and I found out about it? You had NO reason to do so. I had been pretty much on my best behavior for YEARS with you. Well, if you're going to call me that, after all these years I figure I might as well earn it.

I have constructed a pretty good ruse that relies upon your desire to avoid actually spending alone time with me (without the buffer of my husband) alongside my husband's proclivity for procrastination.

These two powerful forces are finally going to be put to good use. It's a clever ruse, if I do say so myself, and will throw you all off the scent for quite some time. After that, I have a back-up plan for the next event.

You all wanted to call me a b!t@#? I never wanted to be one, but all of these years of being treated the way I have has made me realize that being the one to always take the high road often only puts our family at your mercy...and you never disappoint with your cruelties, PA, and malice.

If Satan calls you home before all of it is sorted out, well then gosh-darnit.

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