BIL

Talk about anything and everything in-law related.

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CantstandmyILs
Fuming
Posts: 171
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:18 pm

BIL

Post by CantstandmyILs » Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:56 pm

So on Monday I went to the grocery store and that's where BIL works. We havent spoken to him for 9 yrs. DH say hi but other than that nothing. So I go with my 3 kids and apparently he saw us but my kids and I didnt saw him.

He then proceed to text DH saying when nephews passed you and just see an employee and not an uncle,

Excuse me? :o and you expect DC to approach you with open arms calling uncle even though you aren't in their lives. Just no. His name nor ILs don't get mention like that. So DC don't know their faces like that only ODS.

I asked ODS if he saw him cause at one point he did disappear and he said no was he there. I said yes and he's like oh I didnt saw him and even if I did IDC. He isn't around so why give him the time and damn. :shock:

IDK what BIL expected. Does he want us to talk about him as if he was rrevelant or he has passed and talk about stories about him? Cause if he wants us to talk about him he needs to be around which he chose not to due to his GF.

I understand his GF went into my private FB under his and saw I was friends with his ex but no one told her to snoop. and when I saw her only 1 time I never mention her or disrespected her so IDK what was her deal.

Due that she don't trust him coming over. OK fine you decided to respect your gf no issues but don't get shocked when my kids passes you as if you didnt exist cause to them you are a stranger. MS saw him a handful prob once a yr when DH would approach him but ask him what is his name and he would say who that?

When I'm alone I doubt he would come up to us or else he would of done it. So he wouldn't dare to come up to me.

DH told me he guess BIL feels some type of way cause last week he called DH and spoke. Yet again nothing about DC or seeing each other. Maybe BIL wants to see DC he just doesn't know how to ask. DH said yes maybe 2 oldest but not the baby cause he's a baby. I'm like OK he disappear for 9 yrs. ODS is a teen and MS is 9. He missed out in so much and now when baby turns 9 that's when he interest.

I don't think so. I have a problem with that. If he wants to see the kids it should be consistant and not just my 2 oldest cause they can run and talk. And he should start coming over.

DH mention he wants to buy bball tix and ask him to go. OK you can but not with DC. Anything to do with DC it has to go thru me and be present.

If I don't allow my own father coming in and out of our lives what makes you think I would be ok with BIL. Nope.

IDK if I should approach him if I ever see him at the grocery or just DH handle it.

WhyOhWhy
Infuriated
Posts: 266
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: BIL

Post by WhyOhWhy » Sun Nov 13, 2022 4:01 pm

He sounds like he feels ENTITLED to pleasantries and whatnot that he hasn't earned. That's a hard NO. Personally, I'd just keep a distance. Who cares if he's having a temper tantrum because folks don't recognize someone who's had nothing to do with them. The world doesn't revolve around him (and if he's that toxic, it absolutely shouldn't revolve around him!). Keep a distance and ignore his whining. It's not your job to ensure that Widdle Baby BIL doesn't get his widdle feewings hurt because someone didn't acknowledge him.

My kids wouldn't recognize any of the in-laws if they were standing right in front of them, that's how little the in-laws have to do with my kids. There's always this obligation that my kids will give the IL's the time of day at the holidays, so we always make it as brief as possible. This year will be just a tad different. I'm tired of forcing it upon my kids, and they're getting to the age where if they say "No thanks, I'd rather not be in the same room with that particular person" that I'm going to honor that.
*** The North Remembers ***

CantstandmyILs
Fuming
Posts: 171
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:18 pm

Re: BIL

Post by CantstandmyILs » Sat Nov 19, 2022 4:11 pm

Exactly. I dont know why would he call DH and tell him for since he should know he isnt in the kids lives why should he feel entitle for them to say HI.

He and DH been now in contanct even talking on the phone for half hr. DH text him about MS win. Without BIL even asking.

and Then I see SIL send him her baby registry. IDK why she does that. She she thinks DH will be buying her a gift. I mean DH has not partipated in anything. None of her baby showers nor any of kids baptism or bdays games, why she wasting her time. IDK

Just leave him alone. lol

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