SIL Dont Grt The Respond

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CantstandmyILs
Fuming
Posts: 164
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:18 pm

SIL Dont Grt The Respond

Post by CantstandmyILs » Fri Jun 10, 2022 1:11 am

So last night SIL called DH twice and he didnt respond so she text him call me we need to talk about moms bday. His moms 60th bday is in a few weeks.
I dont get what is there to talk about.
I'm like why she needs to talk to you about your moms bday. Hes liek IDK I didnt respond.
So before hand I let him know in advance what should be his respond he's like I havent even call and this is why I dont say anything cause the way you act. Im like first Im not mad just saying in advance.
If she planning this party and asking for your half you arent putting down.
She statement when we were planning the wedding that the bride and brides family pay for the wedding not the groom so therefore she planning this party she shouldnt be asking for him to put down AND if she's asking if you are going the answer is NO. You are not. We made plans that weekend and of course I would not be ok with him going and leaving me and my kids are on the side for them.
So I am sure he prob wouldnt even pick up her call now since I know he wouldnt dare give an explaination.
I just dont understand what part she dont get that she ainr getting much of a respond of DH.
It bugs me

WhyOhWhy
Infuriated
Posts: 260
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: SIL Dont Grt The Respond

Post by WhyOhWhy » Sun Jun 12, 2022 3:26 pm

I have some thoughts. Firstly, I know nothing about your situation, so I can only go on what you post and try to make assumptions, so if I get it wrong I apologize.

1. She likely IS wanting to throw a party or get a gift "from all the kids", and therefore would like his input on what to get and/or how to celebrate. One assumes she'd also like to split up the cost. I don't see a particular issue with that request, but if she's saying "this is exactly how I want it and you get no say in things but I still want you to fork over money for it", then THAT is not cool. If money is tight for you guys, then maybe he could offer his sister $40 or $50 and say "Do what you want with that, but that's all I can spare".

2. If he doesn't want to go, or doesn't want to participate in a joint gift, he should just come out and tell his sister that he prefers to do his own thing for their mother. If he's already busy on that day, he should tell his sister that "I'm sorry, but I already have plans on that date". Maybe she can change the date so he could make it (assuming he wants to go). Personally, if my husband wanted to go to his mother's birthday party, I'd send him along without me. So long as my husband realizes that he'd better not bring his family's attitude about me home with him, then I really don't care. I PREFER it when my husband deals with his family without me being involved.

3. I know this isn't practical for everyone, but I will repeat what is often said: If you live so close that you can easily visit, then you are probably living too close. 100's of miles between is pretty great.
*** The North Remembers ***

CantstandmyILs
Fuming
Posts: 164
Joined: Tue Oct 14, 2014 12:18 pm

Re: SIL Dont Grt The Respond

Post by CantstandmyILs » Sun Jun 12, 2022 3:53 pm

So I saw a text msg yesterday

She send him a text invite. I guess she calling and texting to see if he is going to their mom surprise party and not for money.
He hasnt replied at all. I guess she wants the whole family there and that exclude me and our kids since the invite didnt say you and family. She only send to him, Which is cool I wouldnt go either way cause I wouldnt want to see her face.
but I mean how does that look everyone will be there with their SO and he would show up with no wife and kids. I would never go to a place without my DH unless its a girls night out. When my sister and I did our moms 50 bday he came and we celebrated and drank. I would feel hurt if he wants to go and disregard how it all went down with his family cause still to this day he never addressed it just avoid it.
IDK I would take it a little personal since he never would bring out the reason we decided to stay away from his family. I say we cause I gave him the option and he decided it was best to focus on us and our son.
We were having so many issues and I was pretty much was done with it all and ready to walk away from everything. I told him I am done and dont want to continue this with his family. I want my peace.
12 yrs its been I havent seen SIL or none of his family only 5 yrs ago I saw PIL they came to our wedding and then thats it. I was like 1 day was enough and even on my day they still manage to bring up pass issues that I kept avoiding cause that wasnt time and place for it but I guess what day would be perfect if I just stay away. I kinda told them what was on my mind and my friend had to pull me away and say lets dance.
They live about 5 mi away in car 14 mins. To me its far cause I dont drive lol I dont usually go to that town. My kids doctor is there but I only go there on Fri when DH is off so we dont run into them.

CantstandmyILs
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Re: SIL Dont Grt The Respond

Post by CantstandmyILs » Mon Jun 13, 2022 6:58 pm

Last night BIL send a text of SIL baby announcement. this is her 4th.

I'm like wth they giving you the 411 for? Is this going to change anything?

I'm like did you call SIL to congratulate her and discussed MIL bday to see if he tells me the invite. He's like no I havent talk to her. So Im assuming he isnt going to respond to the rsvp at all prob waits til he gets phone call.

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