Stepmonster is in ICU

Talk about anything and everything in-law related.

Moderators: Phred, willthetruthbetold, meimei

Post Reply
Melody
Nuclear
Posts: 1726
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:28 pm

Stepmonster is in ICU

Post by Melody » Fri Sep 24, 2021 7:32 am

Hi All, its been a long time and its been quiet here. I'm really hoping no news has been good news for all of you.

So DH's stepmonster who I've written so much about over the years was admitted to ICU and intubated (no its not COVID just a combo of COPD, sores that won't heal, kidney issues etc.). With all her fake illnesses and crying wolf over the years, I'm shocked that this may actually be her demise, but at the same time feeling nothing but maybe feeling guilt for feeling nothing.

DH is concerned for FIL who already said that he's going to get rid of her stuff, and sell the house to move somewhere more practical. Meanwhile I asked DH how DH is doing and he said that I may be surprised to hear him say it, but "Good Riddance" and that he and BIL's (DH's brother)'s "worst fear is that she'll linger and get kicked out of the hospital after a certain period of time".

Thanks for letting me share.

rubycrownedkinglet
Nuclear
Posts: 2019
Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2012 11:20 am

Re: Stepmonster is in ICU

Post by rubycrownedkinglet » Sun Sep 26, 2021 12:13 pm

HI Melody.
It's amazing how someone who is near death stirs no great sympathy, no great sadness. I feel sad for your FIL, but it seems he is not so distraught. I think it means someone has overstayed their welcome among [those who should be] her loved ones.
Melody wrote:
Fri Sep 24, 2021 7:32 am
feeling nothing but maybe feeling guilt for feeling nothing.
I totally understand. In 2016, when I found out about my ESIL's death, I felt like someone died in a TV show I was watching. It felt sad that I was so hardened, so cynical. It made me wonder about my mental and emotional health.
Here's the truth: After years of abuse and difficulty with these people that had to be upsetting enough to lead us to Google "Hate my In-Laws," it's not a shock. Why should you feel tender feelings about your DH's Stepmonster now?
Please don't feel bad about not feeling bad. And don't feel alone. I couldn't have told regular people how much of a relief it was when my ESIL died. I was very grateful to be able to be honest here on this site.
May StepmonsterIL pass quietly and leave little bitterness behind. Maybe just a bit of relief.

WhyOhWhy
Fuming
Posts: 240
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2018 7:25 pm

Re: Stepmonster is in ICU

Post by WhyOhWhy » Tue Sep 28, 2021 6:43 pm

Don't feel bad that you don't feel anything for the stepmonster in the ICU. It's hard to have much sympathy for someone who has been so miserable for so long. Would it be a blessing or a curse if your FIL sold the house and moved away? Maybe it's for the best? It might give everyone a chance to have a second lease on life, as it were. I hope she doesn't linger, for everyone's sake.
*** The North Remembers ***

Melody
Nuclear
Posts: 1726
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2013 1:28 pm

Re: Stepmonster is in ICU

Post by Melody » Thu Sep 30, 2021 10:23 am

Thank you Rubycrownedkinglet. I actually do see a lot of similarity with your ESIL and you absolutely get where I am coming from. Stepmonster is young (not old enough to be my mother) but ESIL was even younger and they both brought on their own health issues while making everyone miserable around them.

Thank you WhyOhWhy. I'm neither here nor there with FIL. He's not exactly been pleasant and has pulled stunts in addition to putting stepmonter's needs and wants before anyone and everyone else. But he is older (big age difference between him and stepmonster) and I don't see him going far away. And maybe at this point my kids can finally get to experience having a real grandparent.

Update: Less than 24 hours after I wrote this, of course Stepmonster was taken off the respirator and was then moved out of ICU. She then started demanding soda and pizza. DH is now caught up with BIL making arrangements to bring her home whenever she gets discharged. He is now picking up his father to go visit her again and talk to the Dr.

He encouraged me to visit with him and we discussed at length. I asked what chance would there be for me to get an apology for anything she's done in the last 20 years. He said that he couldn't talk to her before, but now that she's this weak and "on the way out" she wouldn't get it. And, "I lost my opportunity to let her have it".

He said it would make her happy which I immediately replied, I don't care. He also told me he knew I wouldn't say anything inappropriate. And I asked "what is appropriate"? Is it not appropriate for me to tell her that she's been an abusive witch to my family and abused DH so much it ruined his self esteem? (He became quiet).

He said it could be the last chance to say goodbye, which I told him I didn't need to do and that "good riddance, from what he was saying would not be appropriate. Then DH told me it would be fun to gloat over how I'm doing, but I didn't like that either as we don't know what the future holds.

So am I a complete PITA? And was not going the right thing? I feel like she will end up lingering so there was truly no point other than if it were to support DH. And this is selfish, but I resent the fact that after being low contact with them for so long, DH is being dragged back in again.

Post Reply