My hopes for the big move hours from here in a little over a week are not all realistic.
Here they are...
1. My husband and I will pack everything that we need and not forget anything.
(It would be lovely to arrive, unpack and feel instantly at home with everything that we need with us.)
2. We will feel rested, calm, laid back and perfectly organized at all times in this process.
(I am very nervous, drained and stressed.)
3. I will not feel nervous about meeting new people there.
(I am. It has been isolated living here feeling house bound to avoid seeing his relatives at stores, in the neighborhood etc.)
4. Maybe there will be more kind and decent people than the opposite of those things.
(I need to keep my guard up and slowly get to know people to weed out the toxic ones. Also, be aware that maybe there are still some good people in the world that i haven't met yet.) I know people online here are good, kind, supportive but could this extend to the other state and the location hours from here.... I hope so.
After writing out a long packing list and reminders, I realized it is stressing me out writing down every item that needed packed that crossed my mind.
Someone shared their very basic packing list online and then level two of "extras" to make packing easier. It is helping!
Thanks for reading!
Thanks for reading.
Reality Versus What sounds nice
Moderators: Phred, willthetruthbetold, meimei
Reality Versus What sounds nice
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
Re: Reality Versus What sounds nice
Take a deep breath. Then, take another deep breath. Then, take a third deep breath. 
1. You will pack everything you *need* but consider reducing the definition of "need" to the things you absolutely need. For me, it's like the difference between friends and acquaintances. They're different. Same thing with needs and really-want-to-haves. Focus on the needs and let the other stuff be okay.
2. That's a very high bar even during the best of times. My family life is going really well right now, but I cannot check all the boxes of rested, calm, laid back, and perfectly organized... and I definitely can't be that at all times. I do the best I can and allow myself to be content with that. There will be times I need a bit more rest (I take a nap!). There will be times I need to be more calm (I take several deep breaths and/or just pause for a moment). There will be times I need to be more laid back (I force myself to go with the flow). And there will be times I need to be more organized (to-do list and calendar). All of these will ebb and flow. I just try to make sure they don't all hit at the same time.
3. Meeting new people is always a bit intimidating, even for people who like meeting new people, like me. We're naturally inclined to have questions about the unknown and new people are unknown. I've found it *very* helpful to tune out the noise of the world, including major news networks, and focus on the people around me. The neighbors I chat with at the bus stop. The people living next door. The other parents here and there. The coworkers in my department. The coworkers I see in the hallways. Those people are looking for connection just like you are. Start simple and see where it goes. It's okay to develop acquaintances before diving into friendships.
4. There are. There are way more good people than bad people in the world. Most of what we hear/read/see about "bad" people is a difference of opinion that is often rooted in people's values systems. It's okay to be acquaintances or even friends with people who think different. My best friend in high school was the *complete* opposite of me in almost every single way possible. Even nowadays I'm friends (and acquaintances) with many people who think different from me. Yes, there are actual bad people in the world, but those tend to be easier to spot and avoid, so just keep focusing on everybody else and don't let the world tell you that differences of opinion are a bad thing.
YOU GOT THIS!
1. You will pack everything you *need* but consider reducing the definition of "need" to the things you absolutely need. For me, it's like the difference between friends and acquaintances. They're different. Same thing with needs and really-want-to-haves. Focus on the needs and let the other stuff be okay.
2. That's a very high bar even during the best of times. My family life is going really well right now, but I cannot check all the boxes of rested, calm, laid back, and perfectly organized... and I definitely can't be that at all times. I do the best I can and allow myself to be content with that. There will be times I need a bit more rest (I take a nap!). There will be times I need to be more calm (I take several deep breaths and/or just pause for a moment). There will be times I need to be more laid back (I force myself to go with the flow). And there will be times I need to be more organized (to-do list and calendar). All of these will ebb and flow. I just try to make sure they don't all hit at the same time.
3. Meeting new people is always a bit intimidating, even for people who like meeting new people, like me. We're naturally inclined to have questions about the unknown and new people are unknown. I've found it *very* helpful to tune out the noise of the world, including major news networks, and focus on the people around me. The neighbors I chat with at the bus stop. The people living next door. The other parents here and there. The coworkers in my department. The coworkers I see in the hallways. Those people are looking for connection just like you are. Start simple and see where it goes. It's okay to develop acquaintances before diving into friendships.
4. There are. There are way more good people than bad people in the world. Most of what we hear/read/see about "bad" people is a difference of opinion that is often rooted in people's values systems. It's okay to be acquaintances or even friends with people who think different. My best friend in high school was the *complete* opposite of me in almost every single way possible. Even nowadays I'm friends (and acquaintances) with many people who think different from me. Yes, there are actual bad people in the world, but those tend to be easier to spot and avoid, so just keep focusing on everybody else and don't let the world tell you that differences of opinion are a bad thing.
YOU GOT THIS!
Fred
Site Admin
Site Admin
Re: Reality Versus What sounds nice
Thank you Phred.
Thank you for reminding me to stay calm, believe in people after living near the in-laws, and scale back on the perfectionism. The breathing part is very important to remember as well to be productive in packing versus emotional and over whelmed.
We are renting for possibly a year to explore where to buy in the area hours away from his family! : ) I like the last part of that sentence.
Also, thank you for this website, and all of your feedback and support that you have shared with me through the years.
It seems like yesterday that you shared with us that you and your wife were expecting. I remember the video and how happy you both looked! What an exciting time for you both!
It has been interesting and an honor hearing the site members stories through the years!
Sending wishes of all the best of life to you and your family,
Hiddenjem
Thank you for reminding me to stay calm, believe in people after living near the in-laws, and scale back on the perfectionism. The breathing part is very important to remember as well to be productive in packing versus emotional and over whelmed.
We are renting for possibly a year to explore where to buy in the area hours away from his family! : ) I like the last part of that sentence.
Also, thank you for this website, and all of your feedback and support that you have shared with me through the years.
It seems like yesterday that you shared with us that you and your wife were expecting. I remember the video and how happy you both looked! What an exciting time for you both!
It has been interesting and an honor hearing the site members stories through the years!
Sending wishes of all the best of life to you and your family,
Hiddenjem
"I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou
Re: Reality Versus What sounds nice
That was... 11 years ago?!?! Definitely does not seem that long ago!!!
Fred
Site Admin
Site Admin