I Hate My Inlaws!

FAMILY BROKEN IN HALF - WHOSE FAULT IS IT?

Posted on Thu, Apr. 12, 2018 at 01:48 pm

So, MATRIARCH/PATRIARCH IN-LAW...you think there is a break in the family because we aren't attending the next family reunion. Well, while we were told about it by the persons throwing the event after we asked if that was a day of reunion, we were never actually invited and the event was not called a "reunion." It was just casually mentioned that one side of the family was going to the house of the person in question. That person never said, "oh, yeah...and you are invited to come if you want...at this time on this day." So, we aren't going to beg to come. What if they genuinely want to have more of a private affair? If we ask to be invited, that may put them in an awkward position. Maybe they don't have enough food to go around, or they can't accomodate that many people at the table or outside on their patio furniture. So, we are graciously making plans that day and have no anger at all, instead respecting that they have made plans for that day and happy that they are able to celebrate with their half of the family. But you think that we are adding "fuel to the fire" by not showing up. I don't agree. I think showing up uninvited, when there was no obvious invite communicated nor RSVP given, would actually be wrong on our part. And you saying that us failing to show is "fracturing the family" is wrong again. We are just over here living our lives. We do things together as a family unit, just our little family. If there are events that we can attend or want to attend, we will. But we won't do "what is expected of us." This is not a business, and there is no mandate. It's a family. Sometimes, family is lucky enough to spend time together...or even to actually WANT to spend time together. But, family is like any other group. Blood may be thicker than water, which is biologically true, but the necessity that kept families tight is no longer prevalent in today's world. People can choose who they spend time with, who they associate with, and who they choose to support and have as their supporters. Sometimes, family can be the biggest enemy and the worst friend. So, we won't be spending that day with your family. It's not for you to fix. And, sure, you would like to have everyone there under your rule, one happy and very fake family, making you believe that you were some great GRANDPARENT who raised wonderful kids and everything is Brady Bunch hunky-dory. But, the truth is that your kids, who are now grown, can be absolute apathetic cave-people who are incapable of communicating about anything other than work, casual small-talk, big kid toys and super expensive recreational activities. And their spouses do not get along, nor even really like each other. Your grown kids reflect who you are as a person, which is a judgmental, incredibly cheap, controlling, impatient, conceited jerk. That also pretty much describes your grown kids. So, don't put your sh*t on me that I, and my small family, are destroying the entire large blended family. Honestly, your family sucked from day one. You are just now finally seeing the rotten fruits of your labors.

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