MIL's latest "funny"

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MIL's latest "funny"

Postby momjeans » Mon Aug 28, 2017 2:26 pm

The inlaws had a package to deliver to DH.

They show-up around 8pm last night bearing gifts - because that's their love language. Forget just being emotionally available, good human beings, right?

One of the gifts was a super hero tutu dress for our 3.5 year old daughter. MIL immediately goes into telling her how she got her 2.5 year old cousin the exact same one (too), and how they can both wear them together and play. This cousin is BIL and fiancés child. We don't see them. The same soon-to-be SIL that MIL tried so desperately to conquer and divide the once close relationship SIL and I once had - because MIL was jealous and wanted us to worship and orbit around her. Needing her, depending on her. SIL and I are estranged now... because flying monkey.

Anyway, our children rarely see the inlaws. Once a month at best and very, very briefly.

So, what does MIL do last night? After making that remark about matching dresses, she pulls out her phone and plays back to back videos for our toddler to watch of her and my BIL's daughter laughing, singing, and loving on each other.

I'm literally looking at her and her phone like WTF ARE YOU DOING?!

I would have called her out on her stupidity right then and there, but my FIL would have thrown an epic fit, demanding that they leave immediately. Because, you know, I'm so, SO mean. :roll:

Also, I didn't want to subject our kids to calling out the inlaws on their dumbf****ery.

I cannot tell if my MIL is just THAT stupid, or if this was just another manipulative, heartless move on her part.
Not my family. Not my flying monkeys.
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Re: MIL's latest "funny"

Postby WatchingMyBack » Mon Aug 28, 2017 2:40 pm

:shock: Luckily, your DD is young enough that I am sure she didn't comprehend any of it and it didn't affect her emotionally. More likely it was meant to be a stab at you and to hurt you.

Maybe your MIL is just that stupid. Good thing you don't see her much.
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
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Re: MIL's latest "funny"

Postby PutMILinherplace » Mon Aug 28, 2017 3:23 pm

I would have called her out on her stupidity right then and there, but my FIL would have thrown an epic fit, demanding that they leave immediately.


And that was bad...HOW? Sounds like it would have been a perfect way to handle it. :wink:
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Re: MIL's latest "funny"

Postby Melody » Mon Aug 28, 2017 4:30 pm

I'm so agreeing with PutMILinHerPlace on this one! The theatrics would have bought freedom - at least for a few months. With this crap there IS no intent to do good. DO call
her/ him out next time!
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Re: MIL's latest "funny"

Postby momjeans » Mon Aug 28, 2017 4:44 pm

PutMILinherplace wrote:And that was bad...HOW? Sounds like it would have been a perfect way to handle it. :wink:


True... true! :)

I guess it just comes down to me being sick and tired of their victim crap. I do my best to be above confrontation because my inlaws always end-up spinning themselves to be the victim, with me being the big bad intolerant villain.

I did recently tell my DH that the gloves are off from here on out. I guess I just need to back up my words once and for all. The holidays are coming.
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Re: MIL's latest "funny"

Postby Yacky » Tue Aug 29, 2017 6:10 am

I'd firstly have to put some boundaries on appropriate times/days to visit, and insist on a 24 hour notice before just "dropping by". This can give you time to ensure the kids are somewhere else whenever possible...or you can just say "sorry, that time doesn't work for us".

Once I insisted on a 24 hour notice, we got far fewer visits (back when we lived near them last year) because MIL was throwing a hissy fit that she had to give us that 24 hours notice, which she refused to do (and as a result she found us not home the couple of times she tried without a notice or my H would have to tell her on the phone - because it wasn't enough time because she'd only ask him ON THE Day if she could stop by in a couple of hours - that we had already made plans)

Now she has to give us a notice before a webcam, too (or else she discovers I have all of our devices turned off for the Facetime app and her call never goes through.) That's what happens when you don't honor our boundaries, Sweetie! 8)
~~ Some people really need a great big high-five....to the face....with a baseball bat ~~
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Re: MIL's latest "funny"

Postby momjeans » Tue Aug 29, 2017 7:21 am

Yacky wrote:I'd firstly have to put some boundaries on appropriate times/days to visit, and insist on a 24 hour notice before just "dropping by". This can give you time to ensure the kids are somewhere else whenever possible...or you can just say "sorry, that time doesn't work for us".

Once I insisted on a 24 hour notice, we got far fewer visits (back when we lived near them last year) because MIL was throwing a hissy fit that she had to give us that 24 hours notice, which she refused to do (and as a result she found us not home the couple of times she tried without a notice or my H would have to tell her on the phone - because it wasn't enough time because she'd only ask him ON THE Day if she could stop by in a couple of hours - that we had already made plans)

Now she has to give us a notice before a webcam, too (or else she discovers I have all of our devices turned off for the Facetime app and her call never goes through.) That's what happens when you don't honor our boundaries, Sweetie! 8)


This is great advice. Thank you!
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Re: MIL's latest "funny"

Postby mamarama » Thu Aug 31, 2017 2:42 pm

At first glance, this seems like good old-fashioned thoughtlessness on her part. I'm not familiar with all of her past antics, but maybe she was just trying to get dd excited to play with her/them. I dunno. I'm not going to try and read subversive intent here. But then again, things are not always as they seem. If the intent was to make you jealous, pffft, whatever. Her mission failed.

disclaimer:
I am not in any way defending shitty ILs, and I'm sure MIL has done her fair share of stupid -- um, like showing up at 8PM to visit a 3.5 year old under the guise of visiting dh. She didn't think that one through. At 8pm, my 4 year old (5 in Oct!) would be finishing up her bath and winding down, getting ready for bed. She sure as hell wouldn't be receiving visitors, let alone ones who try to excite her so close to bedtime.

BTW, how did dd get involved in this? I thought the package was for dh. Sly one, ILs, very sly. Next time, just say no. Like drugs, some people are toxic to your system. And yeah, I agree with the others that boundaries need to be set. 24 hour notice is a good idea. Also, no visitors after X o'clock at night, no matter what, and stick to it despite whatever pitiful story they offer up.
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