Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Talk about anything and everything in-law related.

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Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Tue Aug 22, 2017 1:50 am

New to forums and so happy to be able to be able to post and network with others with similar stories.

I have tried to love my in-laws. I REALLY wanted to have a good relationship with them. Even after a rough start I hoped they would come around and eventually accept our marriage. No such luck. Drama, hate, and envy drive a few of them and those few have been and always will be absolutely obsessed with trying to take $MONEY$ from us or get rid of me.

Background: Husband and I have been married for 12 years. From the 1st time I met his oldest sister she has been a bully to me. That very 1st time meeting her she pointed to me and said to my husband, "I hope you are not spending your $ on this girl."(RED FLAG: Right off the bat it is all about $MONEY$) At that time my husband and I were in our early 30s and both of us were divorcees. Right then I knew she wasn't happy I was in the picture and so I just kept my distance from her. Luckily, at that time, we lived 500 miles away from his family so I only had to tolerate her and her hostility towards me here and there.

She was never friendly to me and on occasion when we would see her she would mention (in front of me, my husband and other family members) an ex girlfriend of my husband's from before we were married. She would say to my husband, "If you had ended up with "ex" you could of had an instant family. She would say this when the subject was not at all relevant to any conversation taking place. These comments came out of the blue. It was bizarre..and shocking. My MIL, from what my husband told me years ago, was disappointed when he did not end up marrying that ex as she really liked her and adored that girl's kids. My husband did not get with her because she was not ready to settle down. She was a divorcee that wanted to enjoy her newly found freedom and didn't want to be in a serious relationship, much less another marriage. She actually ended up getting a DUI and losing custody of her children. My husband told me they didn't even really "date" and his family only met her twice. Apparently though, all these years, his family has assumed that I came in between him and that girl and drove her our of the picture and obviously hold some grudge against me. Anyway, SIL has always talked down to me like I'm a child. She interrupts whenever I am speaking about something and totally changes the subject. She will just start talking over me like I'm not even in the room. It is bizarre and so obvious

Over the years SIL has constantly nagged my husband about how he should be supporting their parents. She wanted him to just mail them $ every month. Back story on $: Before we married my husband had a house that he sold and made a lot of $ on. He gave his parents 90% of the profit. I had sold my house I owned before I met him and that is the $ we used to buy a house together. He gave them enough $ to provide them with a comfortable nest egg..which they squandered. Most of the $ went to another (adult) brother and his children that were living at home with the parents. He was/is into drugs and the whole family enables him. It is NON STOP drama with this guy. FIL, MIL and SIL LOVE rescuing him, making excuses for him, etc. Basically any $ given to the parents is funneled to the druggie and his kids. My husband has paid many of their bills over the years but relented on just sending them $.

So, fast forward to more recently. We have moved to within 100 miles of his family. All of a sudden my SIL started acting like my buddy. She started with calling me on the phone all the time. Next thing you know she is showing up at our house every week. She has a husband and adult children but no job so she has a lot of free time. At first I was a big fool and thought she had finally accepted me and I welcomed her friendship but soon realized what her real agenda was/is. When we were looking for a home to buy in our new location she inserted herself into our house hunting. She badgered us about our finances. We never told her anything other than what we paid for our house (as that is public info. that is easy to find nowadays).

For the past year I feel like we are being stalked by her. She shows up at our house all the time. She comes and stays weeks at a time. It is beyond ridiculous. She acts one way in front of my husband and then another when I'm left alone w/ her. One of the times she came and got me alone she brought up that old ex girlfriend. A girlfriend from OVER A DECADE AGO (almost 15 years ago now). She went on and on about beautiful she was and how perfect her children were. I didn't respond. I am pretty much sure she was hoping for a confrontation. She THRIVES on drama. At that point in time I realized I needed to be extra leery of her and just ignore her and hope when she realized I wasn't going to argue with her she would eventually grow tired of visiting us so often. No such luck. It is like the more I don't fight back with her the more she calls and shows up.

On her most recent week long visit she managed to get alone time with me and out of the blue started yelling at me about how we "hoard our $" and her parents are barely scraping by. She has yelled at me before on the phone but never in person. He had been up to visit his parents and they got into an argument and he didn't back down but spoke his mind. SIL called me screaming and yelling at me that he "hurt" their feelings. I"m like, "I wasn't there so I have no idea what you are talking about" and changed the subject. Like really? How does any conversation they had somehow become my fault when I'm almost 100 miles away??

This last visit she brought her adult daughter with her to stay with us. I am pretty sure they or one of them went and snooped through our home office. My husband thinks they did also. I have told my husband everything that has ever been done, said or yelled at to me over the years. He basically said that that is the reason he moved us so far away when we 1st got married. He knew back then we would never have peace in our lives if they lived in close proximity to us. They never liked his 1st wife either and I am sure they gave her hell also as they lived in the same town at the time. He will not speak up and tell her to stay away but he understands that I do not want her in our house ever again. She already has tried to come back to our house for an extended visit and he told her we were busy and had other plans. I know she will keep on trying. I feel she is OBSESSED with us and trying to cause problems for us.

Also, I had noticed over the past few years that his parents would get angry with him if they thought he had been with me to visit my family. Any holidays that we spent with my family would receive an immediate angry reaction. We rarely see my family but in their minds I think they are assuming we are always going to visit them, etc. My family LOVES my husband. They have accepted him since day 1 and have never spoken ill of him.

I am not one to be fake nice to people that I don't care for. I'm not an actress. I don't know how this is going to go down. I do not respond to the SIL's calls or texts anymore. I am done. I just want to be left alone. The more I ignore her the more she calls/texts. It is ridiculous.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby banana93 » Wed Aug 23, 2017 10:38 am

I don't think anyone is on this website because they want to be or that they didn't try to make things work with ILs. Its not you, its them. they've been living in psycho land for a while.

I suggest you cut them all out and stick to your guns about no longer speaking or acknowledging them.
You don't talk a lot about how DH handles his family or if he stands up for you. he needs to start if he's just sitting by and your taking the brunt of it.
Start by setting some rules with DH about visits, like never again to your home. Its your home to, you shouldn't feel violated when you have guests. (this a rule my DH and I have for MIL, if you can't respect us both or our home, you're not welcome in it)

You have every right to cut them out of your life for good. For your mental health just shut that door and DH is going to have to support you in this decision and realize its not his to make.
DH can determine on his own what kind of relationship and level of contact he wants with his family but he needs to leave you out of it. As your husband and defender (just like you would defend him if it were the other way around) he should hold your best interest, feelings, mental health above his family's.
(This is what DH and I have decided on with his mother because we still have other ILs we love and we know love us, so this has worked for us.)

You seem at your wits end with them, Its okay to block her number. its okay to be done, its okay to want to be left alone. DH shouldn't force you and you shouldn't force yourself to keep those lines of communication open. Its not worth it.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby WatchingMyBack » Wed Aug 23, 2017 11:30 am

Welcome, Anonvent.

Your story is very familiar to many of us. I've had much of the same from my IL's (except it is an evil malicious narcissist BIL that I have). I even had to chuckle when you said they get angry if you visit your family. Absolutely! I had a dysfunctional FOO and we very rarely would see them. But if we did, oh my gosh, the PIL would flip out. The same PIL that came to our house at least 3-4 times a week and every.single.holiday or occasion. And I'm talking seething won't speak to us for days afterwards anger. How DARE we! It was like we were "cheating" on them by seeing my FOO :lol:

Your SIL has serious boundary issues. She is either living vicariously through you because her life is dull and boring, or she is gathering as much information during the visits as she can to mount a strategic campaign against you. As Banana said, you have every right to go NC, LC or just Grayrock.

Venting here helps. And knowing it isn't you and you aren't crazy really helps.
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Wed Aug 23, 2017 1:16 pm

banana93 wrote:I don't think anyone is on this website because they want to be or that they didn't try to make things work with ILs. Its not you, its them. they've been living in psycho land for a while.

I suggest you cut them all out and stick to your guns about no longer speaking or acknowledging them.
You don't talk a lot about how DH handles his family or if he stands up for you. he needs to start if he's just sitting by and your taking the brunt of it.
Start by setting some rules with DH about visits, like never again to your home. Its your home to, you shouldn't feel violated when you have guests. (this a rule my DH and I have for MIL, if you can't respect us both or our home, you're not welcome in it)

You have every right to cut them out of your life for good. For your mental health just shut that door and DH is going to have to support you in this decision and realize its not his to make.

DH can determine on his own what kind of relationship and level of contact he wants with his family but he needs to leave you out of it. As your husband and defender (just like you would defend him if it were the other way around) he should hold your best interest, feelings, mental health above his family's.
(This is what DH and I have decided on with his mother because we still have other ILs we love and we know love us, so this has worked for us.)

You seem at your wits end with them, Its okay to block her number. its okay to be done, its okay to want to be left alone. DH shouldn't force you and you shouldn't force yourself to keep those lines of communication open. Its not worth it.


Hi and thanks for responding. I am at my wits end. I've been dwelling on this for weeks now. I keep re-running everything over and over in my mind. I think about how I wish I had reacted. This last incident really just blew me over the top. It was my breaking point.

Over the years DH has tried to convince me I was overreacting or misunderstanding intentions. He doesn't want to acknowledge that his sister is so evil. He does understand now how much she upset me and that I do not want her in my house ever again and that I don't plan on ever visiting his family again. I'm not wasting any more time with people that have contempt for me.

This has become more than just about bullying. I finally realize that his family sees me as an obstacle to DH's money. MIL and FIL have squandered hundreds of thousands of dollars that should have been saved up for these later years. They live on social security only now and the druggie sibling is constantly in a crisis and the parents continue to enable this person. They use what little $ they have on that sibling and then expect other siblings to give them $ to live on. DH is finally opening his eyes. He made a comment to me recently that his parents could care less about our financial security or future.

I have been on here non stop reading other stories posted. I'm glad it's not just me but how
horrible it is that these in-laws are so hateful, selfish and devious.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Wed Aug 23, 2017 1:27 pm

WatchingMyBack wrote:Welcome, Anonvent.

Your story is very familiar to many of us. I've had much of the same from my IL's (except it is an evil malicious narcissist BIL that I have). I even had to chuckle when you said they get angry if you visit your family. Absolutely! I had a dysfunctional FOO and we very rarely would see them. But if we did, oh my gosh, the PIL would flip out. The same PIL that came to our house at least 3-4 times a week and every.single.holiday or occasion. And I'm talking seething won't speak to us for days afterwards anger. How DARE we! It was like we were "cheating" on them by seeing my FOO :lol:

Your SIL has serious boundary issues. She is either living vicariously through you because her life is dull and boring, or she is gathering as much information during the visits as she can to mount a strategic campaign against you. As Banana said, you have every right to go NC, LC or just Grayrock.

Venting here helps. And knowing it isn't you and you aren't crazy really helps.


Hi and thank you! Yes, finding this forum has been eye opening. I never in a million years thought in-laws could be so horrible.

SIL def has no life. She is miserable and a drama queen. I still can't believe she YELLED at me twice.. once on phone and once in person. We don't know each other that well. It was eye opening. I've gotten used to her condescending and snide remarks to me over the years but yelling at me took it a whole new level. What a freak!
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Thu Aug 24, 2017 6:39 pm

Aslo: DH brought up to me that while SIL was here during that last visit that she brought up another old girlfriend to him. She is friends with her on social media and I guess she feels the need to keep DH informed of their communications and what's going on in the ex's life (she is still single, has a high paying job, etc.). I just laughed. He just doesn't get it. This lunatic comes into our home and brings up an ex girlfriend from the 90s. lol!!!! I'm not jealous at all of any of these women. I think it's just pathetic SIL STILL brings them up after us being married for a over a decade. Whenever I visit with my family they don't bring up my ex's. I can only imagine what else she comes up with talk to him about that I don't know about.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby bsfighter1 » Fri Aug 25, 2017 6:25 am

I agree with everything said here. Get these nut jobs out of your life, and hopefully your DH understands now that his parents are using him for money. But if he's still on the fence about it I would make it VERY clear to him that the money is not just his, it belongs to BOTH of you, so if he squanders any more of it on his mean and useless family without your knowledge he'll have to answer to you.

Also, something you said about how your DH in the past downplayed their behaviours or made it seem like you were misinterpreting them... sounds so familiar to what I went through with my DH and his mean hearted family. I've learned to always trust my gut and not the dumb excuses people come up with because they are in radical denial that awful people actually DO exist. My gut instinct has never failed me, and in the case of the ILs, my instincts about them were right on. They weren't just ignorant, uneducated folks who didn't know what they were doing, but in fact the extremely manipulative, unloving, strategic, hurtful, lying, bigoted and aggressive individuals I thought they were (and then some). It's only years after I've cut them out of mine and my children's lives that people with an iota of sense have actually started to see them for who they really are based on their overall behaviours (or lack thereof) of taking accountability for the rift they instigated in their 'family.'

Follow your gut instincts and keep drawing hard boundaries with your husband regarding them. You've put up with enough from these abusers.
"I've learned that with narcs, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it makes the heart grow free."
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby Melody » Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:11 am

Welcome anonvent! I'm happy to see you've already gotten some great advice here! Let me throw a few things out there. Has your DH ever been for counseling, and if not, it might do him some good - to see that you are not in any way overreacting.

Is moving further out from the 100 mile radius of the stalker a possibility? That would do a world of good.

If moving is not feasible, I would suggest you "hoard some more of your $" and replace the locks on your house. Then don't answer the door when psycho or psycho jr. shows up.

I don't get this entitlement with her just showing up and the expectation to send money to the parents. Are they going through a rough patch? That seems so f'd up to me if there is an expectation that the children support the parents! Does she send them money and out of jealousy expects the same from DH?

My eldest is 19 and is appreciative to the fact that I've encouraged and supported her to travel when she's had opportunities and have been supporting her in school. She almost made me cry when she told me that when she finishes school and starts making money (and she is on a career path she might make quite a bit) she wants to take me to Japan. But I would NEVER expect assistance from my children! DH (bio to two kids, stepdad to two) and I have discussed that if G forbid anything drastic ever happened to us - pull the plug! The last thing either one of us wants is to be a burden to our kids!

If I were in your shoes, and this may be a bad idea, but I'd be so tempted to have a coffee date with DH's ex and ask if SIL was a weirdo then too. You never know, SIL could have been the real reason they broke up! So keep us posted!
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby IrishLass » Fri Aug 25, 2017 9:43 am

I guess I do not understand why adult parents think their adult offspring "owe" them any money. They wanted kids, so why are they now demanding payments from their kids?!!?

I really do not have a ton of helpful advice. There are some great books out there about toxic inlaws you should place around your house for you and your DH to read.

Boundaries need to be put in place as well. You should be able to relax and feel safe in your home. If not maybe it is time to sell house and move at least 15 mins more away? Your mental health may thank you if you do.

I hope you and DH can have a more peaceful place soon.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby rubycrownedkinglet » Fri Aug 25, 2017 11:05 am

anonvent wrote:Drama, hate, and envy drive a few of them and those few have been and always will be absolutely obsessed with trying to take $MONEY$ from us or get rid of me.
anonvent wrote:Luckily, at that time, we lived 500 miles away from his family so I only had to tolerate her and her hostility towards me here and there.
anonvent wrote:He gave them enough $ to provide them with a comfortable nest egg..which they squandered. Most of the $ went to another (adult) brother and his children that were living at home with the parents. He was/is into drugs and the whole family enables him. It is NON STOP drama with this guy. FIL, MIL and SIL LOVE rescuing him, making excuses for him, etc. Basically any $ given to the parents is funneled to the druggie and his kids. My husband has paid many of their bills over the years but relented on just sending them $.
anonvent wrote: I am pretty sure they or one of them went and snooped through our home office. My husband thinks they did also. I have told my husband everything that has ever been done, said or yelled at to me over the years. He basically said that that is the reason he moved us so far away when we 1st got married. He knew back then we would never have peace in our lives if they lived in close proximity to us.

OMG, anonvent, have you been "copying off my paper," like in school? You could try to be a little more original. Or our ILs could be! The biggest difference is that my ESIL was the one who was sucking up most of the money from my ILs, and thus us. She never called me or DH unless it was to ask for money. The ILs were just suckers for her stories of woe when the money was really going up in smoke. Cigarettes or pot or just really stupid money decisions. For instance, they were really hungry one day so instead of stopping at the cheap grocery store across the street, they spent their last $30 dollars at a gas station on snacks and drinks then called and asked MIL for money for gas and groceries. I mean who does that?

My EBIL, along with his wife and child after he got married also lived with the PILs for almost all his life rent free (money suck) and found himself homeless after they died. If a person doesn't HAVE TO keep a job to keep a roof over their family's heads, they never learn responsibility. Don't worry about my EBIL though. He found a sugar mama to take care of him.

We found out late that OUR money that we worked so hard for was being funneled to the ESIBs who either never worked or just worked when they wanted to. You have caught on to this much sooner than we did, and it is 50% your choice. My DH also regrets most of the money we sent and realized that the PILs never told their children no until it was the PILs money that was being spent.

IMHO: It has to stop, regardless of your SILs opinion. You shouldn't wait for another "crisis" to come up then say no. I think you should try to come up with a figure for the total amount you two have given the ILs and show your DH the things you could have done with that money, other than squander it. When SIL has given the PILs the same amount of money, and is "caught up" then she can complain, not that it will matter. The PILs have made their own bed.

Welcome to the forum. Search my posts for "bunnies" to get the snooping story about my EBIL. Just for laughs, try "clank" to get a preview of what may happen when your PILs die. Once they died we ended up cutting off both the ESIBs within just a couple months. Life is so much better without all the ILs and their drama!
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Fri Aug 25, 2017 1:42 pm

bsfighter1 wrote:I agree with everything said here. Get these nut jobs out of your life, and hopefully your DH understands now that his parents are using him for money. But if he's still on the fence about it I would make it VERY clear to him that the money is not just his, it belongs to BOTH of you, so if he squanders any more of it on his mean and useless family without your knowledge he'll have to answer to you.

Also, something you said about how your DH in the past downplayed their behaviours or made it seem like you were misinterpreting them... sounds so familiar to what I went through with my DH and his mean hearted family. I've learned to always trust my gut and not the dumb excuses people come up with because they are in radical denial that awful people actually DO exist. My gut instinct has never failed me, and in the case of the ILs, my instincts about them were right on. They weren't just ignorant, uneducated folks who didn't know what they were doing, but in fact the extremely manipulative, unloving, strategic, hurtful, lying, bigoted and aggressive individuals I thought they were (and then some). It's only years after I've cut them out of mine and my children's lives that people with an iota of sense have actually started to see them for who they really are based on their overall behaviours (or lack thereof) of taking accountability for the rift they instigated in their 'family.'

Follow your gut instincts and keep drawing hard boundaries with your husband regarding them. You've put up with enough from these abusers.



Yes!!! "Gut Instinct". When I went to bed last night I was re-playing events in my mind and wishing I could just stop thinking about it all but then it hit me that this was my gut instinct telling me that things are all kinds of wrong with this situation and that I do need to be on guard. I know I am not overreacting. My DH is so blinded by how malicious his family can be.
He explains SILs rude and intrusive behavior as being "her personality". Whatever..if that's the case someone in her life should have set her straight by now. Don't tell me she's just ignorant of the fact that she's downright hostile towards me.

I hope I can push them out of my life. I've been ignoring SILs texts/calls and she persisted so I answered one of her texts but was very factual and short with her. I have blocked all of family on social media.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:40 pm

OMG, anonvent, have you been "copying off my paper," like in school? You could try to be a little more original. Or our ILs could be! The biggest difference is that my ESIL was the one who was sucking up most of the money from my ILs, and thus us. She never called me or DH unless it was to ask for money. The ILs were just suckers for her stories of woe when the money was really going up in smoke. Cigarettes or pot or just really stupid money decisions. For instance, they were really hungry one day so instead of stopping at the cheap grocery store across the street, they spent their last $30 dollars at a gas station on snacks and drinks then called and asked MIL for money for gas and groceries. I mean who does that?

My EBIL, along with his wife and child after he got married also lived with the PILs for almost all his life rent free (money suck) and found himself homeless after they died. If a person doesn't HAVE TO keep a job to keep a roof over their family's heads, they never learn responsibility. Don't worry about my EBIL though. He found a sugar mama to take care of him.

We found out late that OUR money that we worked so hard for was being funneled to the ESIBs who either never worked or just worked when they wanted to. You have caught on to this much sooner than we did, and it is 50% your choice. My DH also regrets most of the money we sent and realized that the PILs never told their children no until it was the PILs money that was being spent.

IMHO: It has to stop, regardless of your SILs opinion. You shouldn't wait for another "crisis" to come up then say no. I think you should try to come up with a figure for the total amount you two have given the ILs and show your DH the things you could have done with that money, other than squander it. When SIL has given the PILs the same amount of money, and is "caught up" then she can complain, not that it will matter. The PILs have made their own bed.

Welcome to the forum. Search my posts for "bunnies" to get the snooping story about my EBIL. Just for laughs, try "clank" to get a preview of what may happen when your PILs die. Once they died we ended up cutting off both the ESIBs within just a couple months. Life is so much better without all the ILs and their drama![/quote]

LOL!!! Thank you for the welcome. It is so insane that there are people like this. I read your posts and your in-laws are just as bad (sorry). The situations are very similar. How horrible, and yea, I can imagine the drama will grow ten fold once the PILs start to pass. So not looking forward to any of it.

You are spot on about your opinion. I feel the same. I think DH has done more than enough to help out PILs financially. SIl needs to sell her house and give them the profit.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:53 pm

Melody wrote:Welcome anonvent! I'm happy to see you've already gotten some great advice here! Let me throw a few things out there. Has your DH ever been for counseling, and if not, it might do him some good - to see that you are not in any way overreacting.

Is moving further out from the 100 mile radius of the stalker a possibility? That would do a world of good.

If moving is not feasible, I would suggest you "hoard some more of your $" and replace the locks on your house. Then don't answer the door when psycho or psycho jr. shows up.

I don't get this entitlement with her just showing up and the expectation to send money to the parents. Are they going through a rough patch? That seems so f'd up to me if there is an expectation that the children support the parents! Does she send them money and out of jealousy expects the same from DH?

My eldest is 19 and is appreciative to the fact that I've encouraged and supported her to travel when she's had opportunities and have been supporting her in school. She almost made me cry when she told me that when she finishes school and starts making money (and she is on a career path she might make quite a bit) she wants to take me to Japan. But I would NEVER expect assistance from my children! DH (bio to two kids, stepdad to two) and I have discussed that if G forbid anything drastic ever happened to us - pull the plug! The last thing either one of us wants is to be a burden to our kids!

If I were in your shoes, and this may be a bad idea, but I'd be so tempted to have a coffee date with DH's ex and ask if SIL was a weirdo then too. You never know, SIL could have been the real reason they broke up! So keep us posted!


Hi and thank you! Yes, the forum has been a blessing for me as I really don't want to keep this all locked up inside of my head. I needed to vent and receive advice. I totally appreciate all the comments and advice so far.

No, DH would prob. not consider counseling and no, unfortunately, we are stuck living where we are now due to employment. PILs are not just in a rough patch. They just squander their money. They live way beyond their means. The give a lot of it to their druggie/gambling addict adult child and grandchildren. These people have no savings, no life insurance, etc. They don't care if they are burden on their other children.

Oh I know that SIl was rude to the ex wife. DH told me she hated that wife. I'm like,,"Duh...she hates me too!".
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby anonvent » Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:58 pm

IrishLass wrote:I guess I do not understand why adult parents think their adult offspring "owe" them any money. They wanted kids, so why are they now demanding payments from their kids?!!?

I really do not have a ton of helpful advice. There are some great books out there about toxic inlaws you should place around your house for you and your DH to read.

Boundaries need to be put in place as well. You should be able to relax and feel safe in your home. If not maybe it is time to sell house and move at least 15 mins more away? Your mental health may thank you if you do.

I hope you and DH can have a more peaceful place soon.


Thank you. If we are able to find peace from them I will be sure to share how we accomplished it. This is just very stressful on a marriage. He still thinks I am overreacting and being dramatic so I doubt there will be much help from him.
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Re: Newbie Post/Condensed Story

Postby Yacky » Sun Aug 27, 2017 8:41 am

"I'm not wasting any more time with people that have contempt for me. "

I think that could sum up any justification you could want for cutting off these wackos. All of us try so hard for so long to look the other way and/or try to somehow change our in-laws' obvious contempt for us. I think what we end up realizing is that these are miserable people who had no intentions of accepting us in the first place, and were hell-bent on making sure we knew whenever possible how much contempt they really have for us.

Well, I finally got the memo and stopped trying and went for the cut-off. For my own happiness and sanity, I needed to move on with my life and stop playing the little games my in-laws love to play. I now focus my energies on my husband and children along with my own family and circle of friends.

Naturally, it does still sting, and sometimes when my husband still has interactions with them the BS rears its head, but I still refuse to be in contact with them and leave the shit-show for my husband to deal with. He's the one interested in contact, so he can enjoy the BS. Of course, the consequence of that has been that he also doesn't want to deal with them anymore either. Huhn, go figure. :lol: 8)
~~ Some people really need a great big high-five....to the face....with a baseball bat ~~
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