Manipulation messages

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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby momjeans » Wed Aug 09, 2017 9:07 pm

banana93 wrote:
I should make a special folder..
I HATE that, the crying and sob story about how the world is against her and she's not at fault for the things she said or did (I've heard some lame excuses, "I'm your MIL". That's it. That's the only reason she'll give as to why we should forgive her.) ....Bitch please. I don't feel sorry for you. You made yourself miserable.

Why does she do that? the divide and conquer, my MIL does that too. I don't understand it. She claims to want everyone to get along then lies and gossips to other in-laws to start shit between those of us who have good relationships with one another. We figure it out quick but WTH??


I highly recommend it. Once my MIL started denying she ever said something, I began taking detailed notes, copy/pasting emails, and taking screenshots (prior to when I had her blocked), because screenshots don't lie. That's the narcissists MO: "I never said that".

I'm a firm believer that the divide and conquer thing is a matter of "once they can no longer control you, they'll try to control how others see you".

My MIL operates under the guise of such a good Christian too. As much as she thumps her bible, she stirs her cauldron.
Not my family. Not my flying monkeys.
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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby banana93 » Wed Aug 09, 2017 11:48 pm

momjeans wrote:
I highly recommend it. Once my MIL started denying she ever said something, I began taking detailed notes, copy/pasting emails, and taking screenshots (prior to when I had her blocked), because screenshots don't lie. That's the narcissists MO: "I never said that".

I'm a firm believer that the divide and conquer thing is a matter of "once they can no longer control you, they'll try to control how others see you".

My MIL operates under the guise of such a good Christian too. As much as she thumps her bible, she stirs her cauldron.


Is it really that hard for them to own up to mistakes? Why does it have to come to this? Stock piling screenshots for proof. Ugh, I could have forgiven her if I got A real admission and apology. I suppose if they behaved like normal people this board wouldn't exist and I wouldn't be here..

That makes sense, she's only spiraled this far since all her sons moved on with wives and kids. She never transitioned from mom to friend when they became adults. When her and DH argue he still gets messages that say "I'm your mother, don't ever talk to me that way again" which would be a reasonable reply if DH was 12 and sassy, not for your adult son. I'm sure that's part of the control thing (along with me putting my foot down) and she's desperate to gain something back. I'm not to worried what others think anyway.. most people know MIL has nothing credible to say anyway.
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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby highheelfeminist » Fri Aug 25, 2017 1:10 pm

bsfighter1 wrote:Stepmonster IL - (after ranting and raving at me and basically letting it be known that DH and I weren't really family) "I'm a good persona and I love ALL of my children equally and my family is important to me" (then proceeds to block me on FB and unfriend one of her 'children' DH. Nobody else got blocked and unfriended. So much for equality) :lol:


OMG this is what my DH's own MOTHER did to him. She had a rant at me, walked around the house like she was in a B**** trance calling me all different names. We are Italian and believe in superstitions so she wished practical black magic on us, tried to hit me numerous times, threatened to kill me -- literally twice-- I am very allergic to peanuts and she knows she called my DH grandmother to tell her I just didn't like the taste, guess who ended up in hospital! Came to my house wanting to physically assault me. She denied ever doing anything despite a whole lot of witnesses

She ends up messaging after NC " I miss you guys and I forgive you and I love my family equally no one will replace you. I forgive you after SIL's boyfriend had an accident and we thought we would loose him, life is too short I forgive you for all you have hurt me with your arrogance"... Her own son, my DH, almost lost the ability to walk after a sports accident and she didn't even care to drive him to the hospital when it happened or take him to his surgery, even though he lived at home... she didn't even visit him at the hospital. SIL's boyfriend fell and scratched his arm :lol:

When we didn't reply she posted videos of SIL's boyfriend and then blocked DH on Social Media --- manipulator to the max

MIL's all have this sense of entitlement because they are "the Mother" *cough *cough Monster! I have said this to my own MIL: Just because you are the mother doesn't mean anything, anyone can donate and egg and sperm, takes a very special person to actually raise a child and respect their boundaries as an adult. I guess God never blessed you with those qualities.

Then I denied ever saying anything... two can always play the game.
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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby WatchingMyBack » Fri Aug 25, 2017 1:17 pm

MIL's all have this sense of entitlement because they are "the Mother"


Whoa! Not all MIL's have entitlement. I am a MIL and I have a great relationship with my DIL. No entitlement here.
“Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby highheelfeminist » Fri Aug 25, 2017 1:23 pm

WatchingMyBack wrote:
MIL's all have this sense of entitlement because they are "the Mother"


Whoa! Not all MIL's have entitlement. I am a MIL and I have a great relationship with my DIL. No entitlement here.



SORRY should rephrase to SOME! As I said, Some Mothers are blessed with qualities to make them great mothers and MIL's, but not all are given that!
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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby mamarama » Thu Aug 31, 2017 3:23 pm

OMG I LOVE her letter. She has mastered her craft :twisted: And you should make a special folder. Artwork like this deserves it. But in all seriousness, you do need to keep reminders of why you don't want anything to do with her. It is also good to keep a record because people like her tend to *forget* the nasty things they say and will deny they ever did X, Y, Z. My MIL tried that crap. Even after I told her I had the VM she left me, and I quoted her from it, she still denied it.

"none of us are perfect , we all make mistakes, life is hard and challenging but nobody has done anything to you that's this bad to cause such a family rift!"

translation: Let's rug-sweep whatever I've done wrong, and you're wrong for holding it against me. People doing you wrong is just a part of life that you can’t control, so learn to deal with it. Your feelings are invalid

“I would of thought our relationship would of meant something to you since I'm your mother in law and have welcomed you in our home and lives for so many years!”

She means after *she* welcomed herself into YOUR home.

"I hope you think long and hard about our situation and do the right thing it's time we fix this!!"

translation: Let me condescend to you like a child, because I don't think you're an equal, an adult, and I don't have any respect for you. You need to work within MY timeline and show me more consideration than I am showing you right now. Also, this is OUR situation, so you have part ownership and fault too, and I'm throwing it in your face. However, I'm a big enough of a person to forgive you for your part, aren't I kind and wonderful?!?
Last edited by mamarama on Thu Aug 31, 2017 3:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby mamarama » Thu Aug 31, 2017 3:35 pm

WatchingMyBack wrote:I'd have to take a red pen and make corrections to all the bad grammar and typos, then send it back with an "F-" circled at the top.

The word is "have", not "of". You could HAVE. Not could "of".


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Could you imagine the look on her face?!? It would be priceless.
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Re: Manipulation messages

Postby banana93 » Fri Sep 01, 2017 9:08 am

LOL you just made my morning mamarama!!
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