As I've mentioned before, my adult DD has a lot of issues and we are sure she has Borderline Personalty Disorder. Given the mental disorders of both DH's family and my FOO, it shouldn't be a huge surprise.
One of the biggest issues with her right now is how she flames at everyone because we "ignore" her and aren't "interested" in her self-destructive, childish lifestyle. She picked up and moved to a city in the west 8 years ago, and completely abandoned her condo (that DH and I bought for her), along with all the furnishings, etc. (again, that DH insisted we buy so she could have a "nice" place to live while she was getting her act together). She had money we had saved and put away for her, and she blew through it running from one eating disorder clinic to another (she wasn't anorexic or even thin. Now she is about 200 lbs overweight from the "treatment" that she received). She also definitely has Munchausen Syndrome but becomes enraged if a doctor even hints at it. She has gone through so many doctors and therapists it would make your head spin.
She doesn't work and lives on disability(for depression and her "complex chronic illnesses"). Her rent was going up, her savings were depleted and I told DH that I wasn't going to keep working just to pay her rent (she was living in an upscale apartment complex and refused to find anything more reasonable). Because she still had the condo here and could afford living there on her disability, I told DH that was the choice she was going to have to make. It didn't matter where she lives because she HAS NO LIFE. She stays in bed half the day (on social media) or is running from one doctors appointment to the next. She also keeps going to concerts in other cities, so usually every two months she is attending yet another money wasting trip (she keeps seeing the SAME woman singer, over and over and over). She buys herself the VIP package so she can meet the artist and have a photo taken. All money she DOESN'T have. We have a feeling she lives on credit cards. She does have one of DH's credit cards and there are times she runs up huge bills on that. I want to close it down but DH won't let me. He has nothing to do with her and is angry, but still feels because she is "mentally disturbed" he can't just cut her off.
Anyway, she started sending really hateful text messages to DIL yesterday. Now, DIL is the sweetest thing and has only ever been nice to DD. ODS doesn't have a relationship with DD and cut her off a couple of years ago after she starting texting him hateful F*U messages because he wasn't helping her with some medical legal matter (he wasn't licensed in that state to help, but honestly didn't want to get involved).
DIL's phone accidentally pocket dialed DD and that seems to have triggered the whole "I'm blocking you from my phone and deleting your phone number and don't ever call me again" thing. DIL was shocked and very upset. I know that DD is very envious of DIL because she is sweet, pretty, has a good job, is going to school to get a higher degree and has our darling GS, who really is sweet and pretty, too. DD had a crush on DIL's brother, and he is now engaged to be married next month to someone else and I think DD is angry about that and taking it out on DIL, too.
At any rate, I just needed to vent because I am the mother of an ESIL. I told ODS that this is how I was treated by
BIL and that DIL should go NC right away. That nothing she will do or say to DD will matter for more than 2 minutes. ODS agrees because he said he really doesn't want her in their lives. DIL's family is ALL about family. They're all very close (too close) and it just was very insane for her to see how dysfunctional and divided our family is.
I can't get it off of my mind. I am so very angry at DD about this. I tried for so many years to help her get treatment or at least try to have some simalance of a normal life but it is not possible. It breaks my heart.