H took all the money!

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H took all the money!

Postby Mara » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:23 pm

So H and I have been separated about a year now. All began with his manic episode which included excessive reckless shopping sprees. Still happening a year later. When it first began, I took steps to protect our finances and he and the toxic PILs told me I was wrong it was HIS money to spend however irresponsibly way that he wanted to with no regard for our family. They threatened me "I'm going to get a lawyer to find all your assets" (like I was trying to steal the money, when really I was trying to protect it). We had a joint account still which I needed to deposit his disability payments (which are now ended unless he applies for social security disability) and pay our bills. I've been slowly saving up money apart from him (but all the while worried about what is "fair"). A couple weeks ago, his enabling mom deposited $10k in our account. I think she thought it was his separate account. Today he withdrew the $10k plus everything else but $1,300. I don't understand why since I am the one paying all the bills. I am just shocked. He can't even think for himself so I bet his parents are telling him what to do.

The funny thing is that I was so worried about what's fair and not doing anything wrong. Worried about giving him access to half the money even though I'm using it for groceries and medical bills and he is using it for shit he doesn't need and throws out a month later.

Also it helps me if they ever want to claim I took too much money because the $10k his enabling mom deposited to our joint account immediately became marital property, which he then withdrew and is greater than the amount of marital property that I took.

It is a relief to me that the account is still open, because there are two more checks I need to deposit and will withdraw the funds after. And I already have money saved away, so it frees me of the worry of what is fair for me to take.
Last edited by Mara on Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Mara
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Re: H took all the money!

Postby Melody » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:34 pm

So sorry this is coming to this! (((Hugs!!!)). RUN!! Do not walk RUN! to the bank NOW and open YOUR own account and take what's lefts AND deposit any new checks into YOUR new account. Call your attorney asap, but sweep ANYTHING that comes into your "joint" account. You can keep it open - but only to deposit any checks that might come his name. (to be transferred to pay the bills if possible).

I know you wanted things to work out, but this is going south fast. So sorry sweetie!
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Re: H took all the money!

Postby Mara » Tue Jul 25, 2017 12:55 pm

The checks I have are in his name so I deposit them "for deposit only" without his signature. I don't want to deal with any problems or forging his signature so I have no alternative but to keep the account open until those checks clear. I pray I can get to it before he does after they clear. But I am not too worried about money. I'm a frugal saver and I still have assets that haven't been touched since before we were married. I am thankful for that because he tried to get me to cash them in many time. I always said why that makes no sense until we need them, like for a down payment for a home.
Mara
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Re: H took all the money!

Postby Melody » Tue Jul 25, 2017 1:31 pm

EXACTLY what I was getting at for keeping the joint account.
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