Rant about dh

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Rant about dh

Postby electoquill86 » Fri May 26, 2017 7:53 pm

Sorry guys i need to fet this off my chest..Dh and i normally get along great but tonight i am really close to caving in his skull with a very heavy object. This has been building up all week. Dh had a day off on monday, i was working but wednesday we had a day off together (a very rare occurrence.) I asked dh to tidy the downstairs of the house ans to sort out something for dinner. First dh needed step by step instuctions on opening the fridge to see what we had for sinner. He bombarded me with texts while i was working. I get home from a very busy shift exhausted and looking forward to a hot meal only find the only thing dh had.done was move from our bed to the sofa and has either slept or played video games all.day. Of course i had a few choice words for dh and a huge argument ensued. Basicly dh thinka because he does 3 more hours a week than me that thia exempts him from any and all chores.
Moving on to tonight dh is looking after bils dog.overnight aa bil will be out very late and didnt want to leave his.dog on his own for that long. I have no problem with that, the dog is a.sweetheart and well trained. I wished dh had talked to me.about it first but i let that go as i would have said yes anyway. So i finish work, run to the grocery store. I get home to find dh decided to give the dog a bath. My bathroom is flooded, he used my good.towels.and left them piled on the floor in the living room with massive clumps of dog hair everywhere. And dont even get me started on the state of the actual bath. I asked dh to clean it up so i can have a shower. It is.now past midnight, i have a 15 hour shift tomorrow and dh hasnt even stepped foot in the bathroom !
Then to make.matters.worse i find out dh let the dog go into my home office where the dog.has been sick. Probably due to rhe heat. Instead of.cleaning it up he left it for me to find and when i told.him.that he will.be cleaning.it up.and replacing the materials that were ruined. Dh is now acting like im blaming.the dog for being ill. I realise the dog couldnt help it but pointing that out to me when im asking how the dog got in my office in the first place doesnt help. I hope the.dog throws up in dhs shoes, let's see.if hes so forgiving when it's his stuff ruined.
I jusy hate this helpless attitude. Ive been nagging dh to go to see the dr over a recurring health problem. He wont make an appointment but wants me to do it. He wont accept that as he is a fully functional adult i cannot make.an appointment for him because of data protection and confidentiality rules. Unless he wants to be declared mentally incompetant (not sure if thats the correct term)
And when he complains that my cleaning isnt up to his standards, i see red. If he wants to talk standards i wanna talk payment!

I am.really sorry for the very very long post i just needed to get it all.off my chest. Ive vented so.hopefully i can talk.to dh without it turning into a.huge argument!
electoquill86
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Re: Rant about dh

Postby bsfighter1 » Sat May 27, 2017 6:23 am

I hear your frustration :? Your DH kinda sounds like a big kid expecting mommy to clean up after him. It also sounds like he's being disrespectful and inconsiderate of you, and downright lazy. Sound like you're trying to put some boundaries down by telling him to clean up after himself but perhaps you might consider going even further and putting down some clear consequences for him if for example he would rather play video games than
clean the bathroom. With regard to not doing his share for dinner, perhaps just start dropping the rope on some dinners you make for him so that he'll have to get up and do stuff for himself. Perhaps then he might get the hint. Also, and this is much easier said than done, if you are aware that your DH typically displays such a "helpless" attitude, maybe preserve your sanity any chance you get and grab something to eat on the way home, or have an easy dinner you can pop into the microwave or oven. I know in an ideal world your DH should just be considerate and help to make dinner once in a while, but you can't change him unless he's willing to change. That's why maybe dropping the rope on some stuff you do for him so he has to do it himself may give him a wake up call.

Do you have kids? Just curious. It didn't sound like it, especially if your DH could sit there playing video games all day. If you don't have kids be forewarned that if your DH doesn't grow up and take some responsibility around the household the stress you are experiencing now might be compounded because you will be essentially looking after a bunch of kids, including DH. As a mom, I know it's hard enough to direct my DH to do priority items around the household, and he's usually a very dependable and hardworking guy around the house. It sounds like your DH has a bit more growing up to do. Hopefully you have a less frustrating day.
"I've learned that with narcs, absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it makes the heart grow free."
bsfighter1
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